The Scrambler's List: 10 Things I Don't Understand About Romance!

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Valentine's day is around the corner and I'm assuming you're either going on a date or two, or you're preparing yourself to watch Deadpool. Or maybe both. And to commemorate such a lovely event that we, for some reason take so seriously, I'd like to share my thoughts on things I don't get about romance. Frankly, I do not consider myself a very romantic person. I find feelings and those random sweet gimmicks you would normally find in a 90s chick flick, very stressful and even troublesome. So I'd like to highlight some more on those. Just a warning, this is entirely my opinion on certain things so if you get slightly butthurt on my view about romance, you can justify what you think about it in Disqus or on my Facebook page and I will be more than happy to consider what you have to say. But this is just an opinion, not the stone tablet that contains all the ten commandments that you are expected to follow. I'm just a 21-year-old nerd who is able to observe what romance looks like at a very certain distance. I also have my many friends to thank for this post. Hahaha. 

Writer's Block: 3 Unofficial Rules on Romance

I would like to talk about the most important and most life-changing subject that affects the way we live today. And that is love. Well, romance, to be more exact. Stories have it. Media capitalizes on it. And as humans, we go gaga over it. I’ve met people who only live to search for love, people who dream that their love life would be a combination of all the most romantic chick flicks, literature, songs, and Tumblr posts. But no worries, I also met a lot of people who get nausea at the thought of love and romance (Mga halaman o may pinaghuhugutan, my fellow countrymen would like to call it). But yeah, I don’t know if you’re aware about it, but my country is obsessed with the idea of love, whether one detests or glorifies it. I mean, ever since I learned that the Filipinos can get easily persuaded with random love pairings like Aldub or even Lizquen, I became more than convinced that love is something we worship.

Romance has become almost like an essential in something we have to do in everyday life. Can’t wait in life? Give them a love quote. It’ll make them laugh. Politics is not making sense? Relate it to romance and post it on Facebook.

I’m not really hating on the idea of romance. It’s just that there are times when I don’t understand it. It’s supposed to be the most wonderful thing in the world, because it comes with no prejudice nor anything harsh. But thanks to the internet, it looks…no offense, stupid. We came up with these unofficial rules and expectations for romances, and no matter what we say, we exercise these ridiculous unofficial rules and expectations in daily life. Surprisingly, we based this on the fandoms we all love. So what are these unofficial rules? Let’s find out.

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Lizquen

1.) You both need to be attractive

Well you don’t need to be just attractive. You need to be considered attractive by…well, everyone. In the Philippines, we also have this thing called Love Teams, where we simply pair two major celebrities together and that alone is enough to make big bucks. People love them. People wish they have their glamorized life. And since the love teams comprises of two celebrities, expect them to be drop-dead gorgeous. If not one of them is attractive, then anticipate for a gradual makeover. Because of this, looks has become a major standard that is required in a significant other. Now this is a mindset that has been discussed ever since revolution started, but let’s not lie; almost everyone wants a girlfriend with great breasts and a fine gluteus maximus or a boyfriend with at least six-pack abs and a sharp jawline. I’m not saying that wishing for your future lover to be hot is a bad thing. Remember, pretty is a mindset. Whatever suits your fancy, I’d say go for it. However, it becomes bad—even insensible—if you think that being in love means being with someone who looks like a model that you can easily compare to the gods. It completely affects the way you would perceive the opposite sex (or even the same sex). It even makes us freakin’ judgmental, hence the terms like slut, f*ckboy, or desperada. Believe me, I’ve seen this happen and we all do it. So if you’re one of those people who judge other people for being with someone who doesn’t seem to fit your definition of pretty or hot, I’d say you keep those thoughts to yourself or better yet, don’t even question it.

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2.) Sex is needed (???)

Almost every romantic film or literature ever made, now has sex or—for a rated PG audience—an intense make-out session. This kind of practice is somewhat glorified and even encouraged in relationships. However, I don’t understand why is that the case. And no, this is not going to be one of those “oh-sex-is-for-married-couples” topics. I just don’t get why we need sex for the relationship to be deemed as something as romantic or sweet. Because psychology says that relationships that rely heavily on sex don’t work out (that’s right, Christian Grey. They don’t). So why can’t playing video games, be something romantic? Why can’t talking about deep and random stuff be something romantic? Yes, there are films challenging this idea, but in the end, sex still prevails for some reason. Why is that?

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3.) Obligations need to be followed, otherwise life won’t be perfect.

Now this is one of the most important things discussed in the romance sphere. Obligations are like, sending cute text messages every now and then, or giving flowers, or celebrating a monthsary—not anniversary, monthsary because apparently, couples can’t wait for a year to waste their money. I know, obligations are ways to assure yourself that your lover still has feelings for you. But for me, they’re no longer romantic. They’ve become the roots of unnecessary arguments. People nowadays—no matter how much they will deny it—get easily angry when one doesn’t immediately reply back or even remember a monthsary. Becoming unromantic is now an issue amongst couples. In the end, we’re humans and if there’s one thing true about human nature, we eventually get tired of things. Romantic obligations and gestures is sadly one of them. I know a couple who used to do a lot of romantic stuff at the beginning of their relationship, but now they’re no longer doing that but they are still steady and in deeply in love. Of course, there is the issue of drifting apart but that’s a sure sign that what you had was only romance. Not love. One of the most painful things people in love learn that romance and love are not always the same. Romance only lasts for perhaps ten monthsaries, but love lasts a lifetime. If you know that your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you without the need for a flash mob to remind you every anniversary, then congratulations; you have earned true love. You just know, because honesty and all the other good things are present in the relationship. I’m not disregarding romantic gestures or your “lover” duties, though. You can still do those things, if you’re willing and able. After all, obligations are based on your choices. And your choices depend on you.

Remember, love comes naturally and with no prerequisites. If someone loves you for who you are at the right time and place, then that person is a keeper. Till the next post~

Never Date a Fictional Character

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Never date a fictional character. 

Never date Edward Cullen. He may have the sparkles and a fancy car, but he's way too controlling and possessive. Don't get me started with Jacob Black and his werewolf pack. They have the symptoms of a domestic abuser.

Never date Zuko. Or basically, never play with fire. You will get hurt, one way or another.

Never date Draco Malfoy. Not because he's a cowardice, but his personality is just unflattering. How is a tortured bully ever an attractive trait?

Never date Augustus Waters. His flirting game may swoon in you in the pages of book, but you won't be able to recognize it in real life because the guys who tried his strategy are the ones you most probably rejected and regarded as "creepy" and "weird".

Never date any shadowhunter. Their occupation has made them elitists, so at the end of the day, they will still think they're better than you no matter what they say. And they can be potential rapists.

Never date Katniss Everdeen. Just don't. Not because she's too busy with the revolution, but she can sometimes be very insensitive.

Never date Korra. The job of an Avatar is way too demanding and if you're the type who wants to spend a lot of quality time, then save your breath.

Never date Dick Grayson. His job can put you in great danger, even if you say it's worth the risk (because there's a high probability you do not know what you are saying). And if you're looking for loyalty in your date, then he's most definitely not for you.

Never date Nagisa Furukawa, because she still has a lot to learn for herself.

Never date Wonder Woman. Her pride may be a bit too much for you.

Never date Hercules, because he's not really a wonder boy in real life.

Never date any Disney Prince, since their basis of love and attraction is quite superficial and happily ever after will forever remain a mystery.

Never date Elsa. No matter how many times you sing her song, she has a hard time of letting go.

Never date Ariel, because stubborn is not necessarily hot.

Never date a fictional character. They're not perfect. They're not any different from real life people. Control over your will is not a sweet gesture. A badass attitude may not be something you're looking for. When they say that they're too dangerous to be with, maybe what they say is true. Then who should you date? Who's the right one? My advice is to look up and never depend on fiction for how your love story will be written. Write your own and it will be guaranteed to be the best.

Till the next post~

Love, according to Fandoms

One of the weirdest things I've ever did while I was going through puberty, was to base my standards for a potential life partner on my fandoms. Mostly anime shows. Back then, I thought it would be really great to just wait and see if I can actually have my very own carbon copy of Gaara of the Sand from Naruto. But you know, life happened and I completely forgot what kind of attributes I look for in a man.

Many of us do this all the time. This fictional character or person is so perfect, you just need someone like this in your life. Let's be real here; as a girl with random cliched thoughts, it would be amazing to wake up every morning to a Ryan Gosling-looking guy who can cook you breakfast every morning and rant about ducks while you read about The Tale of Two Cities. That's basically the effect our fandoms can have on most of us. Fandoms make us go beyond our imagination. We want their reality to become our reality. But let's be more specific and talk about love here.

Every fandom has their own definition of love and romance. And as members of each fandom, we have our own way of interpreting them. So here are my very own lovely interpretations on some of the most famous and cliched romantic fandoms ever! I won't be surprised if you disagree with me, though.

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The Fault in Our Stars- "Love demands to be felt."

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Once Upon A Time- "You know its love when prince charming still chooses you in spite of the Storybrooke amnesia."

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Arrow/The Flash- "Heroes have failed to avoid the friendzone."

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Frozen- "Love is an open door."

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Harry Potter Series- "I will put my life in the line because I love you. Always."

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The Hunger Games Trilogy- "Ain't got no time for love. But love has got time for the press."

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Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus- "You know a guy is dam serious about you when he gives up the gift of immortality--or at least, a major part of himself, just to be with you."

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Twilight Saga- "You need a super perfect, protective guy and you have to be naive and surprisingly attractive in order to have the best mysterious romance of your life." 

If you haven't really based your ideal girl or guy on the shows and books you love, then wow. I actually admire you. Many would want a girl who can play video games, because of Sword Art Online. Girls dream to meet the man of their dreams in a gloomy courtyard of some academy that they thought they would dread. I'm not saying that's it is abnormal to think that way, because it happens a lot. It somehow irritates me when a character is perceived as too hot or too perfect. It makes me feel conflicted, actually. I love how they're described, but I hate how it tries to ingrain into my mind that I need to marry someone who is almost like this character. In other words, fandoms like that encourages other girls like me that they should pick this mysterious, complicated god-like man with a high disposable income and the ability to come up with romantic gimmicks over a very simple guy who may not have much to offer but only has the sweet intention of getting to know you because to him you're pretty special. If every girl in the world would always chose this god, then yeah...nice guys will end up finishing last, unfortunately.

Whether we like it or not, the realities of our fandoms is so much different from the reality we are currently in.  Because in the end, finding someone who has the hair of Jace Herondale, the kind nature of Peeta Mellark, has the rock-hard abs of any vampire, and the flawless talent of Daniel Grigori, is almost impossible. If you have someone who is as majestic as that, then congratulations. But if you're that frustrated person who thinks they can't have a love life, I say don't fret. I know, who am I--a random person on the internet--to tell you this? Trust me, I used to be that girl who would make those lists about what she wants in a man. So, hang in there. Your man (or girl) will come. And if that person does not have the gorgeous features that you were expecting, then I guess it won't matter once he or she comes along. Which is why, I challenge everyone lurking on the internet to do one task...Don't come up with standards.

Do not raise them, nor lower them. Just come clean and see what kind of partner you will attract. Because every great story every told always has an element of surprise. Yes, even love stories. Bella never expected to have a man like Edward Cullen. Percy Jackson thought he would never amount to anything until he received the best underwater kiss of his life from the girl he's cared about since they were kids. And Felicity Smoak probably just wanted a boyfriend, not two chiseled vigilante businessmen. These characters only did their thing, and love came to them just naturally. They didn't do any sort of voodoo, nor did they bother to wait. They just continued being awesome. And that's something you can also do. Don't spend your precious free time thinking of what your future husband or wife should be like. Be yourself and let the story of your life surprise you.

Till the next post~

The Fandom Formula for the Perfect Boyfriend

The Fandom Formula for the Perfect Boyfriend

It's a given fact that our world has brainwashed us with love stories that will probably never happen in real life, but let us not take this the hard way. Thanks to Twilight and to all those sappy fandoms we all love anyway, we already have in mind what  kind of relationship we want. We formulate expectations that eventually lead to standards. If this guy is nothing like the Remus Lupin of your dreams, then he is off the list. In other words, most (if not all) of the standards we create are based on the books we read and the stuff we watch. Don't deny that, ever since you saw this super hot fictional person, you suddenly envisioned yourself with a partner who can match those qualities. Admit it. 

Since I "love" math, let's look at it in the point of view of mathematics. I will try to create a formula, that may (or may not) help you find your dream partner for the rest of your life (hopefully). I'm no mathematician, but I am going to give it a shot. 

Okay, now a majority of our standards are based on the following criteria:

Looks- If this man has the incredibly deep blue eyes you are looking for

Personality- If he's an intelligent prodigy, a douche who is secretly a sensitive romantic, or something else

The Romantic Gimmicks- If he is willing to close the entire mall for you so you can have your very own shopping spree without anyone interrupting, or if he  surprises you with a thousand roses when he proposes to you. You know, the sappy stuff.

Skills- If he can do everything, or if he can't do everything.

Theorem 1 If  we managed to get all of these in a guy, then congratulations...he's the one (hopefully). So it is safe to say that if we add all of them, then that means your perfect match exists. Hence, this formula

Looks (60%) + Personality (15%) + The Romantic Gimmicks (10%) + Skills (15%) = The Perfect Boyfriend

Now how do we know if this guy's looks, personality, gimmicks, and skills can sum up to what we look for in a boyfriend? I'll tell you what to do. The first step is to grab a calculator. Or at least, open the calculator app in your phone. Just like almost every criteria we had to look at, each element we look for a man comes with a percentage. And in order to make sure this guy is the one, we have to compute for each trait.

 Looks (60%)

If you say looks do not matter to you much, then you are a liar. Looks are--unfortunately--everything. It's what we first notice from any person. We are drawn to the fictional characters in our fandoms simply because of the way they appear. It's true. We love only five physical characteristics from a guy and those are the eyes, hair, skin, face, and the abs. In order to get the 60% percent we are looking for, we head to our next theorem

Theorem 2 The looks of a guy in every fandom go beyond the scale of 1 to 10, and every characteristic has a weight, depending on what you prefer the most.

Corollary 1 We always prefer one thing more than the other. So rank the top five characteristics according to your choice. The first characteristic automatically gets a total score of 50, the second gets a total score of 40, and so on.

1.) Eyes (n/50)
2.) Abs (n/40)
3.) Face (n/30)
4.) Hair (n/20)
5.) Skin (n/10)

Corollary 2 It's all or nothing. So if the guy does not have the eyes of the Herondales, then that n automatically becomes 0. As long as the guy has the trait you are looking for, the score automatic becomes perfects. Afterwards you must multiply each by 11 (refer to Theorem 2) and add the total. 

1.) Eyes (50/50) x 11 = 11
2.) Abs (0/40) x 11 = 0

3.) Face (30/30) x 11 = 11

4.) Hair (0/20) x 11 = 0

5.) Skin (10/10) x 11 = 11

Total: 33

Now that you got a score, divide the total by 1.61803398875 (because that's the golden ratio) and then you multiply it to 0.60. You may round off to the nearest decimal place.

Looks: 12/60 

Personality (15%)

When you take in the personality, it is not just about asking what do you look for in a guy. There will always be something you will not like about someone. With that said, how will you measure a guy's personality and how do you know if it matches what you are looking for?

Theorem 3 Most of the male characters in fandoms are sexy for two things; their sensitivity and complications. We squeal whenever this male character has a cute moment with this female character, you name it. It happens in almost every Young Adult Fiction. Basically we appreciate the sweet, vulnerable, and soft side of every male regardless of the kind of complicated masks they wear. 

In books, movies, and shows, we are attracted to either the good boy or the bad boy.

Corollary 1 For the good boy, multiply 2 (because two is better than one) to 0.777.

2 x 0.777 = 1.554

Corollary 2 For the bad boy, multiply 2 to 0.666. 

2 x 0.666 =  1.332

Once you got the computation, multiply it to 0.15. But if you chose the bad boy corollary, then you have to multiply your previous answer to -0.15, square it, and then you multiply it again to a 100 because those kinds of guys take a lot of work.

1.332 x -0.15= -0.1998 ^ 2 =  0.03992004 x 100 = 3.992004

Personality: 4/15

Romantic Gimmicks (10%)
Nothing makes a girl swoon when a guy would wake you up from your beauty sleep with the most sweetest texts, ever. But if you are into extremes, you would love a guy who would purchase an entire island for you. Calculating a man's romantic gimmicks is probably the most discriminating part of this entire process. Why? Let's take a look at the next theorem.

Theorem 4 A guy's romantic etiquette will be based on his or her income. If you are swooned by the Edward Cullen-rich kind of man, then you have to divide his monthly income/allowance  over your monthly income/allowance. Interchange the two when you prefer the opposite.

If you want a rich man (signs: you want him to buy you very materialistic gifts, you want him to close down an entire store/mall/airport/restaurant/ship for you so you guys can spend some alone time together, you're into candle-lit dinners, you want to be proposed in the best way ever, you want him to hire a photographer on your proposal, you remind your friends that they should remind your future man to do these things for you, you basically want to be romanced with the grand and fabulous stuff in life):

The guy's monthly income or allowance / Your monthly income or allowance

If you want an average or poor man (signs: you don't want him to buy you that much gifts, being surprised by a flash mob is enough, handmade gifts are enough, to surprise you with breakfast in bed made by him, you want him to hold up signs for you saying how much loves and shiz, you prefer being romanced through songs, it's either you don't want gimmicks or you want gimmicks that do not involve that much money):

Your monthly income or allowance / The guy's monthly income or allowance

Corollary 1 You can't have both, even if you want two gimmicks of two different types to happen to you. You can't always get what you want and that's the sad fact of life. 

15 000 / 140 000 =  0.10

Romantic Gimmicks: 0.10/10

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Skills (15%)

The way he plays pianos, the way he does flower arrangements, the way he dances with you under the moonlight....oh! And when he cooks for you??? Sighs.....Fandoms have the ability to create these kinds of guys. However, in this case, we would need a scorecard.

Theorem 5 There is a difference between having a skill and being good at it. The first thing you have to do is to create a list of the skills you look for. For each skill, you have an automatic weight of 100%. In this scorecard computation, it is up to you if this guy has the skills you are looking for. Define the score on your own (because you have the best judgment for this) and divide it by the automatic weight. Once you are done, add the total and multiply it 0.15

Pianist skills - 20/100
Intelligence - 50/100
Sewing - 100/100
Cooking - 80/100
Singing - 56/100
Dancing - 43/100
Has a way with children - 100/100
Athletic skills - 3/100
Poetry - 57/100
Art skills - 97/100
Mechanic Skills - 69/100
Gardening - 24/100
Flower arranging - 12/100

Total: 7.11

Corollary 1 If the skills you are looking reach more than 10, then multiply it by -0.15 and square it.

7.11 x -0.15 = -1.0665 ^ 2 =  1.13742225

Skills: 1/15

And we are almost at the end! Now that you've got the score of each, add them all up and if it reaches a perfect 100, then that means you certainly found the one!

12 + 4 + 0.10 + 1 = 17.1

Perfect boyfriend score = 17/100
Conclusion: He's not the one

If you do not get the perfect 100, then do not feel bad. There is one reason for that and it is seen in the very first theorem. 

1Dreamboy 2: My Story

Warning: Don't judge me

I am not going to talk about books, or movies, or even DC or comics stuff. I am going to talk about something that I never thought I would show on this blog.

And that's One Direction. 

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This weekend, I pretty much spent my "leisure" hours on playing this Dating Sim game called, "1Dreamboy 2". How did I learn about it? Well, I saw Pewdiepie play the game a few times and as a Directioner, I automatically had the desire to play it (yes, I'm part of the BroArmy! *brofists any bros out there*). If you don't know what a dating sim game is, it's basically a simple role playing simulator, wherein you have your own character and you got this group of boys that all have a big crush on you. Not just any boys...they're hot, talented, sexy, romantic in every angle. The best part is, they're all crazy about you! The dilemma of this game is to pick only one guy. Only one. And that's difficult because all these guys have their own unique way of romancing you.

So yes, this is they type of game that is meant for people who feel forever alone, or have no chance in getting obtaining the perfect fairy-tale like relationship *points to self*.

Since this is a One Direction game, it is obviously created specially for Directioners. Fangirls, basically. It has been a while since I've played a dating sim game. Plus, I love One Direction (don't judge), so why not?

Like most dating sims experiences, the main goal is to have at least one of the guys to fall for you. Here in 1Dreamboy 2, you need to attain this in a span of 60 days. And just like most relationships, it's going to take a lot of works. You can't just ask the boys out that easily you need experience (in game language, EXP). So you need to talk to them (your response depends on the character, actually) until you guys become friends, then close friends, then best friends, and eventually boyfriend-girlfriend. Believe me, it's harder than you think. These boys started out as completely unapproachable and coming up with the right response is absolutely difficult. You can only get to talk to each of them once in a while and if you get the wrong response, you don't earn EXP. And going back and forth will worn you out, which will eventually leave you to go to sleep and move on to the next day (take not that you only have 60 days to woo them). Yes, the struggle is real. Being a fangirl is never easy.

Despite the rough start, it honestly got addicting. Whilst goofing off with the characters, I had to attend events (for more flare), study (for more knowledge because being stupid will not get you anywhere), work (for money because you'll be paying for the dates and gifts), and train (to become extra appealing, I guess). And the feeling of getting to the next level (of your relationship) feels... great. The mini-games here are pretty fun too. Challenging, but really engaging. I like how this game is not that easy compared to most dating sims I've tried. Also, as a fangirl, I got a whole lot of feels. A part of me wished that 90% of the game happened to me in real life, but another part of me is glad that they did not happen.

On this journey, I picked Liam to be my bae and believe me... it was so hard to get senpai to notice me. For Liam, you have to be really casual (don't get too fangirly, otherwise you are just going to turn him off). And the questions for the date are so hard! I think that was the most difficult part of the game for me, aside from getting into cat fights with the Mean Girls. But in the end, I won the guy's heart and everything else went smooth-sailing. There were times I wanted to go for others, as well. All the boys in this game certainly know their ropes to a girl's heart. I don't know with you guys, just having a guy simply asking me out makes me discombobulated. So yes, I went on dates with almost all of the 1D boys. The date that I did not enjoy the most was Louis', unfortunately. The mini game for that date was me trying to catch the soccer ball while Lou kicks it. So, it was more like a practice for Louis for the soccer game in the story, than an actual date. However, even though I reached the boyfriend level with Liam, the other boys still tried to romance me, which made me struggle even more.

Overall, I had a really great time playing the game. I really recommend it to Directioners who need to satisfy their fantasies (just kidding). It felt weird playing it, but it was a good weird. Hopefully in 1Dreamboy 3, the creators of the game can step it up a little bit. Make the setting a bit more original and try to go away from the Otome game cliches a bit. But I am very impressed with the graphics. The boys almost looked real and the mini-games were really great to the point I became so amused. So I am giving this game a score of soft-boiled, for being awesome.

If you'd like to try the game out yourself, click here or you can follow them on Twitter (username: @1d_flashgames). Till the next post~