I would like to talk about the most important and most life-changing
subject that affects the way we live today. And that is love. Well, romance, to
be more exact. Stories have it. Media capitalizes on it. And as humans, we go
gaga over it. I’ve met people who only live to search for love, people who
dream that their love life would be a combination of all the most romantic
chick flicks, literature, songs, and Tumblr posts. But no worries, I also met a
lot of people who get nausea at the thought of love and romance (Mga halaman o may pinaghuhugutan, my
fellow countrymen would like to call it). But yeah, I don’t know if you’re
aware about it, but my country is obsessed with the idea of love, whether one
detests or glorifies it. I mean, ever since I learned that the Filipinos can
get easily persuaded with random love pairings like Aldub or even Lizquen, I
became more than convinced that love is something we worship.
Romance
has become almost like an essential in something we have to do in everyday
life. Can’t wait in life? Give them a love quote. It’ll make them laugh.
Politics is not making sense? Relate it to romance and post it on Facebook.
I’m
not really hating on the idea of romance. It’s just that there are times when I
don’t understand it. It’s supposed to be the most wonderful thing in the world,
because it comes with no prejudice nor anything harsh. But thanks to the
internet, it looks…no offense, stupid. We came up with these unofficial rules
and expectations for romances, and no matter what we say, we exercise these
ridiculous unofficial rules and expectations in daily life. Surprisingly, we
based this on the fandoms we all love. So what are these unofficial rules?
Let’s find out.
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| Aldub |
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| Lizquen |
1.)
You both need to be attractive
Well
you don’t need to be just attractive. You need to be considered attractive by…well, everyone. In the Philippines, we
also have this thing called Love Teams, where we simply pair two major
celebrities together and that alone is enough to make big bucks. People love
them. People wish they have their glamorized life. And since the love teams
comprises of two celebrities, expect them to be drop-dead gorgeous. If not one
of them is attractive, then anticipate for a gradual makeover. Because of this,
looks has become a major standard that is required in a significant other. Now
this is a mindset that has been discussed ever since revolution started, but let’s
not lie; almost everyone wants a girlfriend with great breasts and a fine
gluteus maximus or a boyfriend with at least six-pack abs and a sharp jawline.
I’m not saying that wishing for your future lover to be hot is a bad thing.
Remember, pretty is a mindset. Whatever suits your fancy, I’d say go for it.
However, it becomes bad—even insensible—if you think that being in love means being with someone who looks like a model that you
can easily compare to the gods. It completely affects the way you would
perceive the opposite sex (or even the same sex). It even makes us freakin’
judgmental, hence the terms like slut, f*ckboy, or desperada. Believe me, I’ve seen this happen and we all do it. So if you’re one of
those people who judge other people for being with someone who doesn’t seem to
fit your definition of pretty or hot, I’d say you keep those thoughts to
yourself or better yet, don’t even question it.
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| iconarchive.com |
2.)
Sex is needed (???)
Almost
every romantic film or literature ever made, now has sex or—for a rated PG
audience—an intense make-out session. This kind of practice is somewhat
glorified and even encouraged in relationships. However, I don’t understand why
is that the case. And no, this is not going to be one of those
“oh-sex-is-for-married-couples” topics. I just don’t get why we need sex for
the relationship to be deemed as something as romantic or sweet. Because psychology
says that relationships that rely heavily on sex don’t work out (that’s right,
Christian Grey. They don’t). So why can’t playing video games, be something
romantic? Why can’t talking about deep and random stuff be something romantic?
Yes, there are films challenging this idea, but in the end, sex still prevails
for some reason. Why is that?
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| likealaugh.org |
3.)
Obligations need to be followed, otherwise life won’t be perfect.
Now
this is one of the most important things discussed in the romance sphere.
Obligations are like, sending cute text messages every now and then, or giving
flowers, or celebrating a monthsary—not anniversary, monthsary because
apparently, couples can’t wait for a year to waste their money. I know,
obligations are ways to assure yourself that your lover still has feelings for
you. But for me, they’re no longer romantic. They’ve become the roots of
unnecessary arguments. People nowadays—no matter how much they will deny it—get
easily angry when one doesn’t immediately reply back or even remember a
monthsary. Becoming unromantic is now an issue amongst couples. In the end,
we’re humans and if there’s one thing true about human nature, we eventually
get tired of things. Romantic obligations and gestures is sadly one of them. I
know a couple who used to do a lot of romantic stuff at the beginning of their
relationship, but now they’re no longer doing that but they are still steady
and in deeply in love. Of course, there is the issue of drifting apart but
that’s a sure sign that what you had was only romance. Not love. One of the
most painful things people in love learn that romance and love are not always
the same. Romance only lasts for perhaps ten monthsaries, but love lasts a
lifetime. If you know that your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you without the
need for a flash mob to remind you every anniversary, then congratulations; you
have earned true love. You just know, because honesty and all the other good
things are present in the relationship. I’m not disregarding romantic gestures
or your “lover” duties, though. You can still do those things, if you’re willing
and able. After all, obligations are based on your choices. And your choices
depend on you.
Remember,
love comes naturally and with no prerequisites. If someone loves you for who
you are at the right time and place, then that person is a keeper. Till the
next post~
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