How To Be a Vigilante

DISCLAIMER: This post is strictly satirical and not meant to be taken seriously.

For some reason, being a vigilante is so much cooler than being an actual superhero. Technically, you are still a superhero, but with an air of mystery enveloped around you. In short, it kinda sounds badass. The downside is that you can be considered a threat to not just the bad guys, but to also the good guys. To the public, you are creep in a mask with a hidden agenda. But being a vigilante still looks cool. So here are five ways to become one.

1.) Wear a costume with dark colors.
We've seen Batman, Green Arrow, Daredevil, and the Punisher. Now what do they all have in common? Dark hues. Their costumes do not involve rainbow patterns; they involve camouflage emo colors. It's quite understandable why, since they are also viewed as the masters of deception. They know how to blend well with their surroundings, since vigilantes mostly work at the night time. Don't go for the bright ones like Spiderman. Just look where it led him; now he has to save Mary Jane all the time.

2.) Ignore the need to sleep.
If you think vigilantes are nocturnal, then you're wrong. Vigilantes need to be active during the day too because sleeping in every single day would be too suspicious. Either they will be seen as hardcore party-goers or masked vigilantes. Kinda makes sense right? As much as we need sleep, remember...sleep is for the weak. Vigilantes also lead double lives, which they need to cater to equally. Kinda explains why Oliver Queen demands too much coffee from Felicity, right?

3.) Get a depressing backstory.

As told by Batman. Depressing backstories always have a tinge of the injustice element and this triggers the vigilante's need to put on an awesome suit and save the world...or city. Basically, it's your motive. The reason you need to act crazy and beat up random robbers who are obviously living their own vigilante escapade.

4.) Sneer at the idea of a social life.

Because delivering justice is so much more important than going to your friends' average party. However you still do need to attend social events, but you need to hate it because you seriously have other more important things to do. Or at least pretend to hate it. Also, no love life. That would take a turn for the worst. Isn't that right, Spiderman?

5.) Never EVER kill

It's the vigilante code to never kill. It completely messes up one's psyche. So it would be the best idea to avoid killing. However, this code is still debatable since a lot of vigilantes broke this code. Unfortunately.

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And that is it! Sorry if it's real short. Consider this as an appetizer for an even better and bigger post that will be up in the nearby future. For now, till the next post~

How to Socialize with a 'Fandomized' Friend

As of now, I am convinced that the world's population consist of people who are fandomized. Fandomized meaning, we spend at least half of our time talking about Adventure Time, Sherlock Holmes, or even the upcoming sequel film of the Avengers. We all have our own interests, and the people I know would always go into their fandom phase. Whether they need an outlet or they're bored to death, they will still talk about what's going on with their favorite Kpop group or what just happened in the last episode of Reign. Now if you think you're a very normal person who treats TV and books with average respect and you are trying to talk to someone who will not stop going on about his or her fandoms like its their own limited supply of oxygen, never fear. I am here to help you.

Here are five simple steps on how to interact with a fandomized person. (Note: I decided to come up with the term, 'fandomized' because I am sick of saying fangirls and fanboys at the same time. It's time for equality, yo)

1.) Tolerance. Just like the immortal Gretchen Wieners always says, "You have to be considerate to the rest of the group." When your friend decides that its time for him or her to talk about a John Green book he or she just read, then do what every other normal person would do. Listen. You may not exactly know what Shingeki No Kyojin means in English, but just listen. Surely, a fandomized person would know better and  not pick you to be the listener. However, sometimes when the urge to spazz is too strong, they feel like that they have no choice but to let it out on someone. Irregardless of how fandomized a person is, they just have to scream about why this OTP should get together. And if you're the chosen one, might as well deal with it. You want to socialize with fandom? Then socialize. Learn how to listen.

2.) Ask many questions. When you are especially clueless about the story of Game of Thrones, might as well keep the conversation alive by asking about it. One of the many basic ways of socializing is to keep asking questions. Initially treating your talks like an interview gradually becomes productive and the next thing you know, you two are exchanging numbers and are official friends. I consider myself a fandomized person, but there a lot of fandoms I haven't came across yet. That's when I ask the questions. Who is this character? What is this show about? Why is this fandom awesome for you? Where can I read this? Who wrote this story? How is this romantic? And yes, those questions eventually branch out to many answers and many words exchanged between who I eventually call friend.

3.) Never question. There is a difference between asking what the fandom is all about and asking what can the fandom offer. Never question the taste of a fandomized person. For one thing, it is quite rude. Asking why Arrow is great is like asking why you prefer having this particular calorie-heavy snack every day. And if this person is heavily fandomized, insulting him or her is probably the last thing you want to do. Many say its just all talk, but I'm telling you. The backfire is real.

4.) Be open. For your future conversations to nurture, I suggest you try out this book or movie especially when your friend highly encourages you to do so. That way, you can understand him or her more. Withhold judgment and learn why this person is so fascinated with the world of the Hobbits. It's not exactly a way of wasting time because you are in the midst of discovery. Who knows, maybe you can get a fandom on your list. Beware of the addiction, though. It can get pretty nasty.

5.) Accept. If you can never understand why your friend finds 50 Shades of Grey romantic, then just let it be. Express your opinion about it, but don't try to impose. Humans usually consider this an abomination. This can also ruin friendships because you are basically forcing someone to drop something he or she has been used to. You're simply asking your friend to just move out with no preparation or even a warning. And when it comes to moments like these, there are no warnings or go signals. Telling your friend to stop watching Anime is a major blow or an act of betrayal in your friendship code...unless the fandom life is beginning to engulf her soul. So if she or he she likes this, don't bother to tell her otherwise. It will only cause more complications. And if you can't really deal with him or her talk about the incest sex between the Lannister, might as well back off yourself. Other than that, accept your fandomized friends for who they are because their fandoms actually contributed in constructing his or her well-being.

Till the next post~