How To Be a Vigilante

DISCLAIMER: This post is strictly satirical and not meant to be taken seriously.

For some reason, being a vigilante is so much cooler than being an actual superhero. Technically, you are still a superhero, but with an air of mystery enveloped around you. In short, it kinda sounds badass. The downside is that you can be considered a threat to not just the bad guys, but to also the good guys. To the public, you are creep in a mask with a hidden agenda. But being a vigilante still looks cool. So here are five ways to become one.

1.) Wear a costume with dark colors.
We've seen Batman, Green Arrow, Daredevil, and the Punisher. Now what do they all have in common? Dark hues. Their costumes do not involve rainbow patterns; they involve camouflage emo colors. It's quite understandable why, since they are also viewed as the masters of deception. They know how to blend well with their surroundings, since vigilantes mostly work at the night time. Don't go for the bright ones like Spiderman. Just look where it led him; now he has to save Mary Jane all the time.

2.) Ignore the need to sleep.
If you think vigilantes are nocturnal, then you're wrong. Vigilantes need to be active during the day too because sleeping in every single day would be too suspicious. Either they will be seen as hardcore party-goers or masked vigilantes. Kinda makes sense right? As much as we need sleep, remember...sleep is for the weak. Vigilantes also lead double lives, which they need to cater to equally. Kinda explains why Oliver Queen demands too much coffee from Felicity, right?

3.) Get a depressing backstory.

As told by Batman. Depressing backstories always have a tinge of the injustice element and this triggers the vigilante's need to put on an awesome suit and save the world...or city. Basically, it's your motive. The reason you need to act crazy and beat up random robbers who are obviously living their own vigilante escapade.

4.) Sneer at the idea of a social life.

Because delivering justice is so much more important than going to your friends' average party. However you still do need to attend social events, but you need to hate it because you seriously have other more important things to do. Or at least pretend to hate it. Also, no love life. That would take a turn for the worst. Isn't that right, Spiderman?

5.) Never EVER kill

It's the vigilante code to never kill. It completely messes up one's psyche. So it would be the best idea to avoid killing. However, this code is still debatable since a lot of vigilantes broke this code. Unfortunately.

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And that is it! Sorry if it's real short. Consider this as an appetizer for an even better and bigger post that will be up in the nearby future. For now, till the next post~